Well, I suck at this blogging thing, huh? I've been thinking about writing, but honestly I have been very busy. Busy with my girls, volunteering in each of their classes, trying to start a consistent work out routine, and lately I have been obsessed with cleaning and organizing my house in preparation for meeting with a realtor so we can discuss putting it on the market. The realtor was supposed to come today, but she had a family emergency and she wasn't able to make it, so we will be meeting with her tomorrow. Fingers crossed all goes well!
I have also been thinking about the whole blog thing a lot. I do love writing, and I love writing knowing that others will read it. However, at the same time I am a private person, and blogging about my life doesn't leave much room for privacy. So, I've been trying to figure out how to have the best of both worlds. Still not quite sure how that's going to work, but I'm workin' it out!
Something I have been doing some thinking about is how to be a more positive person. If you know me in real life, I am sure you have noticed that I'm not the most positive, upbeat person out there. I tend to see the negative in a situation first and focus on that. The silver lining escapes me every single time. I wonder if this is something that is learned, or if this is just a deep seeded part of a person's personality? Or is it just life experience that fogs the lens? Or maybe a combination? I wish I knew the answer to this question. Not that it would really make a difference, I guess. It would still be incredibly difficult to change behaviorally. As far back as I can remember, I have been what my husband likes to call a "Negative Nancy". Of course, this trait only grew worse as I grew older. I have grown painfully aware of this negative trait, especially since it is often pointed out to me by others (and by others, I mean my husband, who by the way, is not Mr. Rose Colored Glasses either). Since seeing a therapist, I have made many changes in my life, and learning to be more positive is one of them. I feel like I was doing better with being more positive there for a while, but the truth is, the negativity has found a way to creep back in. Staying positive and sunny and always upbeat takes a lot of work and, quite frankly, gets a little exhausting after a while. I don't know how all of you positive people do it! If you are a shiny, happy people type of person, please share your secret! Don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm down in the dumps all of the time, I am happy a lot of the time. But, the negativity is there, it's always there. I don't want my daughters to be affected in a negative way by this personality trait of mine.
I think this has been on the forefront of my mind lately because we are thinking about and preparing to sell our home. I have been unhappy in our condo for....years.....now. I know it's because I focus on what I don't like about our home instead of focusing on what is good about it. I guess I just don't want to put all of my eggs into the moving-to-a-new-house basket and think that then everything in my life will be perfect and I can finally be happy. I know someone who has thought this many times and moved many times, but guess what? The new house does not solve all of this person's problems. This person is still a Negative Nancy. This person is still unhappy. I don't want to be that person. So, I'm trying to focus on learning to be more positive and more happy, just in the moment, in the everyday, and not make my happiness contingent on where I live or what car I drive or having the newest THING. Life is about so much more than that. It's just that sometimes I forget that and get caught up in the "what isn't right about this picture" way of thinking. Instead I need to look at the picture for what it is and appreciate the beauty that shines through. I'm working on it, I promise.
No comments:
Post a Comment