Well, I suck at this blogging thing, huh? I've been thinking about writing, but honestly I have been very busy. Busy with my girls, volunteering in each of their classes, trying to start a consistent work out routine, and lately I have been obsessed with cleaning and organizing my house in preparation for meeting with a realtor so we can discuss putting it on the market. The realtor was supposed to come today, but she had a family emergency and she wasn't able to make it, so we will be meeting with her tomorrow. Fingers crossed all goes well!
I have also been thinking about the whole blog thing a lot. I do love writing, and I love writing knowing that others will read it. However, at the same time I am a private person, and blogging about my life doesn't leave much room for privacy. So, I've been trying to figure out how to have the best of both worlds. Still not quite sure how that's going to work, but I'm workin' it out!
Something I have been doing some thinking about is how to be a more positive person. If you know me in real life, I am sure you have noticed that I'm not the most positive, upbeat person out there. I tend to see the negative in a situation first and focus on that. The silver lining escapes me every single time. I wonder if this is something that is learned, or if this is just a deep seeded part of a person's personality? Or is it just life experience that fogs the lens? Or maybe a combination? I wish I knew the answer to this question. Not that it would really make a difference, I guess. It would still be incredibly difficult to change behaviorally. As far back as I can remember, I have been what my husband likes to call a "Negative Nancy". Of course, this trait only grew worse as I grew older. I have grown painfully aware of this negative trait, especially since it is often pointed out to me by others (and by others, I mean my husband, who by the way, is not Mr. Rose Colored Glasses either). Since seeing a therapist, I have made many changes in my life, and learning to be more positive is one of them. I feel like I was doing better with being more positive there for a while, but the truth is, the negativity has found a way to creep back in. Staying positive and sunny and always upbeat takes a lot of work and, quite frankly, gets a little exhausting after a while. I don't know how all of you positive people do it! If you are a shiny, happy people type of person, please share your secret! Don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm down in the dumps all of the time, I am happy a lot of the time. But, the negativity is there, it's always there. I don't want my daughters to be affected in a negative way by this personality trait of mine.
I think this has been on the forefront of my mind lately because we are thinking about and preparing to sell our home. I have been unhappy in our condo for....years.....now. I know it's because I focus on what I don't like about our home instead of focusing on what is good about it. I guess I just don't want to put all of my eggs into the moving-to-a-new-house basket and think that then everything in my life will be perfect and I can finally be happy. I know someone who has thought this many times and moved many times, but guess what? The new house does not solve all of this person's problems. This person is still a Negative Nancy. This person is still unhappy. I don't want to be that person. So, I'm trying to focus on learning to be more positive and more happy, just in the moment, in the everyday, and not make my happiness contingent on where I live or what car I drive or having the newest THING. Life is about so much more than that. It's just that sometimes I forget that and get caught up in the "what isn't right about this picture" way of thinking. Instead I need to look at the picture for what it is and appreciate the beauty that shines through. I'm working on it, I promise.
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Workout Wednesdays
I have been trying to institute a workout regimen in my life for, like, ever. Seriously, I have never been good at making exercise a priority. I would much rather sit on my butt and watch TV or read or do anything that isn't exercise. My idea of exercise is walking the mall while I shop (and if any of you have shopped with me, you know that I like to shop until I drop! Just ask my girls!). However, I know I need to get serious about working out and making my health one of my top priorities.
Throughout my life I had always been super skinny. Like, seriously skinny, to the point of being made fun of. Which is why working out has never been a priority of mine, it didn't have to be. All you ladies out there who think that being thin is everything, I am here to tell you that really, it's not. Being thin does not make you happy, being thin does not fix all of life's problems, and being thin is not going to make that guy you've had your eye on fall in love with you. I struggled to put weight on as a teenager. With popular songs back in the day like "Baby Got Back" I would have loved to have had at least a few curves! During graduate school, my weight issues got worse due to developing GERD, or acid reflux disease. The stress from grad school really took a toll on me and I suffered greatly from GERD. I could barely eat and I lost quite a bit of weight. I think at my lowest I weighed 108 pounds, which at 5'8", is extremely thin for my body type. I ate TUMS and Zantac like they were candy and eventually went to see a gastroenterologist, which is when I was finally officially diagnosed with GERD. I then was put on Prilosec (this was before you could buy the OTC version). I slowly started to feel better and was able to resume life as normal.
Cut to later, after grad school, when I got pregnant with our first daughter. At this time I was still taking Prilosec, but I switched to OTC Zantac, which was safer during pregnancy. I was so psyched to be pregnant and finally able to pack on some pounds. And I did! Some of the weight stayed on after my pregnancy, which I was happy about, and I was also having significantly less problems with GERD. It seemed that I was finally at a healthy weight and feeling better as well. However, I still wasn't exercising. After the birth of my second daughter, things began to slowly spiral downhill in my life. Actually, it seemed that my life was slowly crumbling and crashing down around me. I suffered from postpartum depression, I was starting to have stomach issues and GERD issues again, my husband and I were having marital issues, and I lost my grandmother, which just added to all of the stress that I was already under. Through the course of all of this.....stuff.....I was not feeling or looking healthy at all. I lost quite a bit of weight, probably about 15 pounds, and the worst thing was I could not eat. I had this awful burning, sick feeling in my stomach all the time. I wanted to eat, but I couldn't most days. I had to force food down. I knew I needed nourishment to be healthy. But, I wasn't feeling healthy at all. I began doing a lot of research on Dr. Google and discovered that the medication I was taking, OTC Prilosec this time, was most likely causing more harm than good. I won't go into details here because it's too much information, but basically the Prilosec was not allowing my body to process and break down food like it is supposed to do. Prilosec shuts down the production of stomach acid, but our bodies have stomach acid for a reason, to break down our food and prepare it's nourishment to be sent out to the rest of our body. After reading this, I began researching more natural ways of dealing with GERD so that I could wean off of the Prilosec. My first step in this process was to see a gastroenterologist again. I had a procedure done, along with a biopsy, and discovered that, along with GERD, I also had gastritis, hence the constant burning sensation in my stomach. I was prescribed Nexium, which I did not want to have to take (it acts the same way on the stomach as Prilosec), but I did take it as prescribed for about 3 months (it is meant to be a medicine used on a short-term basis anyway). I started to feel better, almost immediately. I could actually eat and enjoy food again! At this time, I really got serious about finding a regimen of natural products, vitamins and supplements, to take to help heal my body from the damage of GERD and gastritis while I weaned off of the Nexium (I will discuss this in more detail in a future post as it is too much information to include here and really deserves a post of it's own). I am happy to report, one year later from my last doctor's appointment, that I no longer take Prilosec or Nexium. My GERD is under control naturally, and the gastritis is gone. Also, my goal was to put on weight, so I worked with a nutritionist as well (and had a test run to detect food allergies and sensitivities). In the last year I have put on approximately 25 pounds!!! I am honestly shocked! It makes me wonder just what that medication was doing to my body? Was I getting any nutrients from my food at all during those years on Prilosec? I may never know. I am just glad that I am feeling healthier now.
This brings me back to my original topic of exercise. Now that I have gained 25 pounds, I really need to exercise and tone up a bit (My husband is somewhere cringing right now. He hates when I use the term "tone up". He's a power lifter.). At 136 pounds, I am sure my weight is still within the normal healthy range for my height, and I am happy with how I look and feel at the moment. However, there are a few areas that I would like to improve upon so that I can look and feel my best. Plus, I know that exercise is important to a healthy lifestyle, whether you are happy with your weight or not. Weight fluctuations can sometimes be difficult to deal with, too. For me, as I am sure a lot of women can relate, I feel like I have had several rounds of clothes in varying sizes. I just took some clothing items to a consignment store today that I wore last Fall. They are now too small for me. It can get a little frustrating, not to mention expensive, to have to buy an all new wardrobe! This all brings me to this place. This place of wanting to be healthier, live healthier, and incorporate exercise and healthy eating habits into my everyday life. Hence, Workout Wednesdays on the blog. I am trying to decide my course of action. I really want to check out a dance studio near me that offers adult fitness classes, including jazz, hip hop, zumba, barre fit, yoga, etc. For $99 you can get 3 months of unlimited classes, which sounds like a pretty good deal to me! There is a Barre Fit class tomorrow morning and I am thinking of checking it out. It's always hard to go that first time, by yourself, and not know anything about the class or the people that might be in it. But, that is why I am writing about it here, that way I have at least a little bit of accountability! I will check back and let you know how it goes, if I can get up the courage to go! Wish me luck!
Throughout my life I had always been super skinny. Like, seriously skinny, to the point of being made fun of. Which is why working out has never been a priority of mine, it didn't have to be. All you ladies out there who think that being thin is everything, I am here to tell you that really, it's not. Being thin does not make you happy, being thin does not fix all of life's problems, and being thin is not going to make that guy you've had your eye on fall in love with you. I struggled to put weight on as a teenager. With popular songs back in the day like "Baby Got Back" I would have loved to have had at least a few curves! During graduate school, my weight issues got worse due to developing GERD, or acid reflux disease. The stress from grad school really took a toll on me and I suffered greatly from GERD. I could barely eat and I lost quite a bit of weight. I think at my lowest I weighed 108 pounds, which at 5'8", is extremely thin for my body type. I ate TUMS and Zantac like they were candy and eventually went to see a gastroenterologist, which is when I was finally officially diagnosed with GERD. I then was put on Prilosec (this was before you could buy the OTC version). I slowly started to feel better and was able to resume life as normal.
Cut to later, after grad school, when I got pregnant with our first daughter. At this time I was still taking Prilosec, but I switched to OTC Zantac, which was safer during pregnancy. I was so psyched to be pregnant and finally able to pack on some pounds. And I did! Some of the weight stayed on after my pregnancy, which I was happy about, and I was also having significantly less problems with GERD. It seemed that I was finally at a healthy weight and feeling better as well. However, I still wasn't exercising. After the birth of my second daughter, things began to slowly spiral downhill in my life. Actually, it seemed that my life was slowly crumbling and crashing down around me. I suffered from postpartum depression, I was starting to have stomach issues and GERD issues again, my husband and I were having marital issues, and I lost my grandmother, which just added to all of the stress that I was already under. Through the course of all of this.....stuff.....I was not feeling or looking healthy at all. I lost quite a bit of weight, probably about 15 pounds, and the worst thing was I could not eat. I had this awful burning, sick feeling in my stomach all the time. I wanted to eat, but I couldn't most days. I had to force food down. I knew I needed nourishment to be healthy. But, I wasn't feeling healthy at all. I began doing a lot of research on Dr. Google and discovered that the medication I was taking, OTC Prilosec this time, was most likely causing more harm than good. I won't go into details here because it's too much information, but basically the Prilosec was not allowing my body to process and break down food like it is supposed to do. Prilosec shuts down the production of stomach acid, but our bodies have stomach acid for a reason, to break down our food and prepare it's nourishment to be sent out to the rest of our body. After reading this, I began researching more natural ways of dealing with GERD so that I could wean off of the Prilosec. My first step in this process was to see a gastroenterologist again. I had a procedure done, along with a biopsy, and discovered that, along with GERD, I also had gastritis, hence the constant burning sensation in my stomach. I was prescribed Nexium, which I did not want to have to take (it acts the same way on the stomach as Prilosec), but I did take it as prescribed for about 3 months (it is meant to be a medicine used on a short-term basis anyway). I started to feel better, almost immediately. I could actually eat and enjoy food again! At this time, I really got serious about finding a regimen of natural products, vitamins and supplements, to take to help heal my body from the damage of GERD and gastritis while I weaned off of the Nexium (I will discuss this in more detail in a future post as it is too much information to include here and really deserves a post of it's own). I am happy to report, one year later from my last doctor's appointment, that I no longer take Prilosec or Nexium. My GERD is under control naturally, and the gastritis is gone. Also, my goal was to put on weight, so I worked with a nutritionist as well (and had a test run to detect food allergies and sensitivities). In the last year I have put on approximately 25 pounds!!! I am honestly shocked! It makes me wonder just what that medication was doing to my body? Was I getting any nutrients from my food at all during those years on Prilosec? I may never know. I am just glad that I am feeling healthier now.
This brings me back to my original topic of exercise. Now that I have gained 25 pounds, I really need to exercise and tone up a bit (My husband is somewhere cringing right now. He hates when I use the term "tone up". He's a power lifter.). At 136 pounds, I am sure my weight is still within the normal healthy range for my height, and I am happy with how I look and feel at the moment. However, there are a few areas that I would like to improve upon so that I can look and feel my best. Plus, I know that exercise is important to a healthy lifestyle, whether you are happy with your weight or not. Weight fluctuations can sometimes be difficult to deal with, too. For me, as I am sure a lot of women can relate, I feel like I have had several rounds of clothes in varying sizes. I just took some clothing items to a consignment store today that I wore last Fall. They are now too small for me. It can get a little frustrating, not to mention expensive, to have to buy an all new wardrobe! This all brings me to this place. This place of wanting to be healthier, live healthier, and incorporate exercise and healthy eating habits into my everyday life. Hence, Workout Wednesdays on the blog. I am trying to decide my course of action. I really want to check out a dance studio near me that offers adult fitness classes, including jazz, hip hop, zumba, barre fit, yoga, etc. For $99 you can get 3 months of unlimited classes, which sounds like a pretty good deal to me! There is a Barre Fit class tomorrow morning and I am thinking of checking it out. It's always hard to go that first time, by yourself, and not know anything about the class or the people that might be in it. But, that is why I am writing about it here, that way I have at least a little bit of accountability! I will check back and let you know how it goes, if I can get up the courage to go! Wish me luck!
Friday, September 6, 2013
Fashion Friday
I have always loved clothes and fashion. Those of you who know me know that I like to dress cute. I really appreciate all of the compliments that I have received on various outfits that I have put together. Clothing and accessories are fun and a great way to display a little bit about yourself. Since I love all things fashion I am going to attempt to have a Fashion Friday theme on my blog each week. I have seen this done on other blogs and it seems fun. What I have seen others do is post photos of themselves wearing outfits that they have put together, and while I might do that sometimes, I really just want to be able to share and talk about anything fashion related on those days. I do not have a photo of myself to share today, but I thought I would share a website that I enjoy and get a lot of fashion inspiration from. I actually don't visit the website often, but I have liked the page on Facebook and so get updates and fashion trends on my Facebook newsfeed each day. The website is called Fashionista Trends. If you like them on Facebook, you won't have to worry about checking the website daily because you will see posts on your newsfeed. I love looking through the outfits that this site puts together, not really for purchasing those exact items, but as inspiration for pieces I might already have in my wardrobe or for ideas to keep in mind when I go shopping. I have mentioned before that I consider myself to be a pretty thrifty shopper. I shop at various places and really try not to spend more than $25-$30 on any one item (I will make an exception for good shoes, of course, although I usually buy cheap ones). My line of thinking is why spend tons of money on a trendy piece that you may or may not wear the following year? My friend introduced me to the shop Plato's Closet. It is a used clothing store. I never used to consider buying used, and I'm still pretty picky about what I will purchase, but for someone who likes to shop as much as me, buying tops for $5, $6, $8 is definitely the way to go! I have bought many items at Plato's Closet that were actually still new with tags, so they were technically never worn anyway! It's a win for me! I also love to shop at the teeny bopper store Forever 21. Yes, I realize I am 30...........something and that I am nowhere near 21, but I can always find some cute pieces in Forever 21. Sometimes you really have to hunt around in there, and I will admit that I can spend hours just looking around! I also love TJ Maxx, Marshalls, and Target. Again, I will admit to mostly shopping in the junior section in these stores, but I like the style and trends that I find there. Plus, the prices are usually always better, too! Maybe I'm too.....*gulp*.......old to shop junior trends, but I figure I have a few more years before I have to worry about it! So, my advice on this Fashion Friday is to check out Fashionista Trends for some inspiration and then go to your favorite stores with some ideas of what to look for! And always have fun! Next week I will discuss some of the hot trends for Fall! Happy shopping, ladies!
Thursday, September 5, 2013
Decisions, Decisions
Hello again, just checking in. This has been a busy week and a little crazy too, what with my oldest being back to school and adjusting to our new routine. So far, waking up early has not been so bad. I've even been sort of enjoying it! I know, GASP! We'll see how I feel several weeks/months in, though, ha! So far, so good, and my daughter seems to be liking school. She's definitely been tired when she comes home, as evidenced by her being a little whiny and overreacting a little bit to things. But, I know that will get better as time goes on and she gets used to the new schedule/routine. All in all, her first week back has been a success, yay!
In other news, my hubby and I recently had a great discussion about our plans for moving. Yes, we are planning to move ASAP. If you know me in real life, you know I have talked about wanting to move for YEARS! You're probably thinking 'would you just move already, geez'. Believe me, if it were that simple, we would have done it long ago. We have lived in our current home, a two level townhouse-style condo for 10 years. We rented it for the first few years and then decided to buy (at the height of the market, unfortunately) when I was pregnant with our first daughter. At the time, nothing that we looked at in our price range was better than the home we were renting, so we decided to approach our landlord to see if we could buy from him. I guess it was the fact that I was pregnant with our first baby and "nesting", but I really wanted to put down roots and have a place that we could really call ours to bring our baby home to. And, who am I kidding, I wanted to decorate her nursery, damn it! We thought that we would own this home for several years and then sell and move on. However, we all know what happened to the housing market after that. Yep, crash! So, we have been stuck here several years longer than we had planned, unfortunately. Now, I can't complain too much because we do live in a very nice community with great amenities. We especially love the pool in the summertime. What we really miss about living here, though, is having some outside space. Especially now that our girls are 4 and 6 (soon to be 7) and love being outdoors so much. We want them to have their own swing set and trees to climb and a place to play and let their imaginations run wild. We do have a community playground here, but I dislike that I have to drop what I am doing to take them outside whenever they want to go. Or, I hate that in order for me to do house cleaning or whatever needs to be done inside they have to be inside, too. Which usually leads to far too much TV watching and giant messes for me to clean up later. So, while I know that having a yard isn't going to solve all of life's problems, I feel it will greatly reduce some of my stress and it will enhance our family's well-being. I just dream about us having a garden and being able to spend time doing things outside together in our own space. So, that brings me back to my discussion with my husband recently. We are definitely planning to buy a new house; however, we are thinking about just selling our condo first and possibly renting for a while. We feel like selling a house is stressful enough, we don't need the added stress of trying to buy a new one at the same time. Plus, getting stuck under our current mortgage has scared us somewhat from rushing into an even bigger one the next time around. We want to be able to take our time and find the right home for us and our family. Even though it will mean moving twice for our girls, I think it will be a smart decision for us in the long run. We are also planning to move to a different area within our same county, so we will more than likely rent in this new area, just so we can get to know it a little bit and test the waters, so to speak. Also, that will also reduce the chances that the girls will have to change schools again. So, that is the plan for now. The next step is to talk to a realtor and have them come to our home and tell us what needs to be done in order to put the home on the market. We know that, even though we have already put in granite countertops and new carpet, there are several other projects that need to be done. Many of our friends who live in units similar to ours were able to sell in about a month's time, so I am hopeful that when we are ready it will sell quickly! Now, our only conundrum will be deciding exactly when we want to do this (probably after the first of the year) and deciding if it would be a good idea or not for my oldest to switch elementary schools in the middle of the year. If not, we would have to wait until May/June to put the house on the market and I am not sure I want to wait that long. Or, it would mean renting in our same neighborhood (but a single family home) so that she could remain at her current school. *sigh* Being a parent is tough sometimes. If any of you have any advice, I would greatly appreciate it! I certainly don't want to scar her for life by making the wrong decision! Although, my husband and I were saying that the benefits of moving to a larger home and having outside space would probably thrill both of our daughters and they probably could care less about the school situation! We shall see! Wish us luck in this new journey!
In other news, my hubby and I recently had a great discussion about our plans for moving. Yes, we are planning to move ASAP. If you know me in real life, you know I have talked about wanting to move for YEARS! You're probably thinking 'would you just move already, geez'. Believe me, if it were that simple, we would have done it long ago. We have lived in our current home, a two level townhouse-style condo for 10 years. We rented it for the first few years and then decided to buy (at the height of the market, unfortunately) when I was pregnant with our first daughter. At the time, nothing that we looked at in our price range was better than the home we were renting, so we decided to approach our landlord to see if we could buy from him. I guess it was the fact that I was pregnant with our first baby and "nesting", but I really wanted to put down roots and have a place that we could really call ours to bring our baby home to. And, who am I kidding, I wanted to decorate her nursery, damn it! We thought that we would own this home for several years and then sell and move on. However, we all know what happened to the housing market after that. Yep, crash! So, we have been stuck here several years longer than we had planned, unfortunately. Now, I can't complain too much because we do live in a very nice community with great amenities. We especially love the pool in the summertime. What we really miss about living here, though, is having some outside space. Especially now that our girls are 4 and 6 (soon to be 7) and love being outdoors so much. We want them to have their own swing set and trees to climb and a place to play and let their imaginations run wild. We do have a community playground here, but I dislike that I have to drop what I am doing to take them outside whenever they want to go. Or, I hate that in order for me to do house cleaning or whatever needs to be done inside they have to be inside, too. Which usually leads to far too much TV watching and giant messes for me to clean up later. So, while I know that having a yard isn't going to solve all of life's problems, I feel it will greatly reduce some of my stress and it will enhance our family's well-being. I just dream about us having a garden and being able to spend time doing things outside together in our own space. So, that brings me back to my discussion with my husband recently. We are definitely planning to buy a new house; however, we are thinking about just selling our condo first and possibly renting for a while. We feel like selling a house is stressful enough, we don't need the added stress of trying to buy a new one at the same time. Plus, getting stuck under our current mortgage has scared us somewhat from rushing into an even bigger one the next time around. We want to be able to take our time and find the right home for us and our family. Even though it will mean moving twice for our girls, I think it will be a smart decision for us in the long run. We are also planning to move to a different area within our same county, so we will more than likely rent in this new area, just so we can get to know it a little bit and test the waters, so to speak. Also, that will also reduce the chances that the girls will have to change schools again. So, that is the plan for now. The next step is to talk to a realtor and have them come to our home and tell us what needs to be done in order to put the home on the market. We know that, even though we have already put in granite countertops and new carpet, there are several other projects that need to be done. Many of our friends who live in units similar to ours were able to sell in about a month's time, so I am hopeful that when we are ready it will sell quickly! Now, our only conundrum will be deciding exactly when we want to do this (probably after the first of the year) and deciding if it would be a good idea or not for my oldest to switch elementary schools in the middle of the year. If not, we would have to wait until May/June to put the house on the market and I am not sure I want to wait that long. Or, it would mean renting in our same neighborhood (but a single family home) so that she could remain at her current school. *sigh* Being a parent is tough sometimes. If any of you have any advice, I would greatly appreciate it! I certainly don't want to scar her for life by making the wrong decision! Although, my husband and I were saying that the benefits of moving to a larger home and having outside space would probably thrill both of our daughters and they probably could care less about the school situation! We shall see! Wish us luck in this new journey!
Monday, September 2, 2013
Back to School!
Tomorrow is the first day back to school here. I will admit that I have been looking forward to it for several weeks now! The long days of summer were beginning to get a little boring. This year my oldest daughter starts first grade, so this will be her first year going to school all day (we have half-day Kindergarten here). I was feeling totally fine with the thought of her being at school all day, that is up until today. I have been freaking out on the inside just a little bit! I know she will be totally fine, but I worry about her a little. She is much more sensitive and introverted than her little sister and I know she won't speak up if she has a question or concern. She is just like me in that way. I know that after a few days of this new routine she will be just fine, but it's hard letting her go to start something new, especially when I can't be there to help her navigate things. *sigh* I know, I know, she'll be fine! Although, I know she must be a little nervous, too, because at 9:50 tonight she came and told me she needed to use the bathroom. I asked her if she was excited about tomorrow and she said "yes" and that she was having trouble falling asleep. :0( Poor thing. I will be glad when tomorrow is over and I see her get off the bus in the afternoon! Until then, I will take lots of deep breaths and try to get a good night of sleep (yeah, right!). I am a night owl most nights, so this new routine will be hard for me, too! Ok, I gotta jet. Wish us luck for a good first day tomorrow!
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